Caroline Goldsmith | Teaching Emotional Regulation Through Play
Caroline Goldsmith | Teaching Emotional Regulation Through Play
Blog Article
In a world full of emotional highs and lows, learning how to regulate feelings is one of the most vital skills a child can develop. Caroline Goldsmith, a renowned psychologist at ATC Ireland, emphasizes that emotional regulation is not just about calming down—it’s about understanding, expressing, and navigating emotions in healthy, constructive ways.
Children are not born knowing how to manage big feelings like frustration, sadness, or anxiety. These are learned behaviors that develop over time, ideally with the support and guidance of adults who model emotional intelligence and provide nurturing environments. In this blog, we explore how Caroline Goldsmith teaches emotional regulation and why it’s foundational to a child’s mental health and future success.
Why Emotional Regulation Matters
Children who learn to regulate their emotions are better equipped to handle challenges, make friends, solve problems, and express themselves effectively. Caroline explains that the ability to manage emotions impacts every area of life—from academic performance to social relationships and even long-term mental health.
Key benefits of emotional regulation include:
- Reduced behavioral outbursts and tantrums.
- Improved concentration and learning.
- Increased empathy and social skills.
- Better communication and self-advocacy.
- A stronger sense of security and confidence.
Caroline Goldsmith’s Principles of Emotional Coaching
1. Recognize Emotions as Teaching Opportunities
Caroline emphasizes that every emotional moment—no matter how chaotic—is a chance to teach a child about their feelings.
“Don’t rush to fix or stop the feeling,” she says. “Instead, name it and normalize it.”
For example:
- “You seem really disappointed that we can't go to the park.”
- “It’s okay to feel angry. Let’s talk about what happened.”
2. Name and Validate Emotions
Children often act out when they don’t know how to express what they feel. Helping them name emotions gives them the language to describe their inner experience.
- Use simple emotion words like happy, sad, scared, frustrated.
- Validate feelings even if the behavior isn’t okay. “It’s okay to feel upset. It’s not okay to hit.”
This teaches children that emotions aren’t shameful—they’re manageable.
3. Model Emotional Regulation as an Adult
One of the most powerful tools in teaching emotional regulation is modeling it. Caroline encourages parents and educators to be mindful of how they manage their own emotions around children.
- Narrate your emotional experience: “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take some deep breaths.”
- Avoid reacting with anger or judgment in moments of stress.
- Show healthy ways to respond when things don’t go as planned.
Children are always watching. When adults handle emotions calmly and constructively, children learn to do the same.
4. Use Calm-Down Techniques That Work for Kids
Caroline Goldsmith teaches that coping strategies need to be age-appropriate and easy to remember. Some practical tools include:
- Deep breathing exercises (e.g., "smell the flower, blow out the candle").
- Drawing or journaling to express how they feel.
- Physical movement such as stretching, yoga, or jumping jacks.
- A quiet space or calming corner with sensory toys, books, or music.
Encourage children to explore which strategies help them feel better, and practice these during calm times—not just during meltdowns.
5. Create Routines and Predictability
A regulated environment supports a regulated child. Routines help children feel secure and reduce emotional overwhelm. Caroline recommends:
- Establishing consistent bedtimes, meals, and transitions.
- Giving children notice before transitions (“In 5 minutes, it’ll be time to pack up.”).
- Using visual schedules or checklists for young children.
The more a child can anticipate what’s coming, the less anxiety and emotional dysregulation they’ll experience.
6. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Helping a child understand why they’re upset is just the beginning—teaching them what to do next is equally important.
Caroline suggests using these steps:
- Help the child identify the problem.
- Ask what they need or what might help.
- Brainstorm options together.
Example: “You’re upset because your toy broke. What can we do about it? Can we fix it, or should we find something else to play with?”
This empowers children to become active participants in solving their own emotional dilemmas.
When to Seek Additional Support
Sometimes, children experience emotions that are difficult to manage even with the best strategies. Caroline Goldsmith recommends reaching out for professional support if a child:
- Has frequent, intense meltdowns or aggressive outbursts.
- Shows signs of prolonged sadness or anxiety.
- Has trouble sleeping or eating due to emotional distress.
- Struggles with relationships or school behavior regularly.
Therapists, counselors, or child psychologists can offer individualized strategies and support for families navigating complex emotional needs.
Final Thoughts from Caroline Goldsmith
Caroline Goldsmith reminds us that emotional regulation is not a destination—it’s a journey that unfolds over time, with patience and practice. By equipping children with emotional vocabulary, modeling healthy behaviors, and creating safe spaces to express themselves, we lay the foundation for resilience, empathy, and self-control.
The way we teach children to handle their emotions today will shape how they cope with life tomorrow. And that’s one of the most powerful gifts we can offer as caregivers, educators, and mentors.
Contact Information:
Caroline’s practice is easily reachable through her website, email, or phone, ensuring clients have multiple ways to Connect and Resources.